


Deep End

by Tentotea



Series: Fan Statements (TMA) [1]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: No beta we die like archival assistants, Original Statement (The Magnus Archives)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:08:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tentotea/pseuds/Tentotea
Summary: Statement of Rebecca Warr, regarding her experience at a house party. Original statement given March 8th, 2011.
Series: Fan Statements (TMA) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2170908
Kudos: 1





	Deep End

**Author's Note:**

> tw alcoholism, near death experiences, drowning
> 
> This is roughly season one era.
> 
> Also was really fun to write, might pop out another or two at some point. 
> 
> Edit: Decided to try to get one out for all the fears.

Statement of Rebecca Warr, regarding her experience at a house party. Original statement given March 8th, 2011. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins.

Back in my uni days, I partied. Hard. Always looking for the next big bash, hooking up with any guy who was moderately attractive. I was more into having a good time, than actually pursuing an education. 

I attended the University of East Anglia, if that matters.

I drank a little too much back then, actually that's an understatement, I would get blackout drunk every weekend. And wasn't exactly keeping on the straight and narrow the rest of the time. 

I had been having a shitty couple of years and instead of dealing with my issues like an adult, like by going to therapy. I drowned my sorrows in booze. I just wanted the world to go away, drinking and partying made it. Or at least made a little less noticeable. 

For what it's worth, I'm sober now. Have been for a couple of years.

This incident was what actually made me clean the first. Turns out a near death experience really makes one reconsider their life choices. 

I´m gonna be frank, the details are a little lacking at most points, so sorry in advance. Just bare with me, alright. 

It was at a house party, finals had just finished up and people wanted to celebrate. I did too, nevermind that I hadn't bothered to show up to any of my exams, but it's already been established that I wasn't exactly making the greatest life decisions.

A couple of hours in I showed up, went without friends that night. I thought I would most likely know someone there. I saw a couple of friendly faces, but no one I was really close with.

The guy who was hosting, I´m not sure about his name, maybe Evan Riley. Whoever it was had a super nice house. Much nicer than most uni students can afford, so I'm guessing it was a rental or his parents’ house. It was essentially a mini-mansion, the type of shit you´d see in a movie. It was very modern, all sleek and minimalist like. There was a pool in the back too. The place seemingly had everything. 

It was the perfect place for a bunch of young adults to do exactly what you would think.

I can't even remember what the bloody address was, but I can picture that house, clear as day. 

Maybe because I´ve never lived anywhere half as nice, but there was something about that house that pissed me off. 

As soon as I was through that door, I went to get a drink. When that one was done, I got another. Then another. And so on and so forth. 

Basically, within a few hours I was completely wasted and alone. 

And here's where everything gets really murky. 

There's a few hours where I just can´t account for anything. I´ve tried to piece it together, honestly I have. When people ask me for details, there´s nothing. Considering I was completely out of it, makes sense. 

Though I was later told that someone had ¨defaced¨ one of the bedrooms, and I was apparently spotted nearby laughing my ass off. I will take credit for that one, even it doesn't really matter in the long run.

Eventually, I ended up outside, right beside the pool. At the shallow end of it. It was lovely, you know, for a pool. It was huge, crystal clear, if you wanted to you could see your reflection on it. 

And on the other side of it, there was a girl, floating at the bottom, 

She was pale, her hair was long and was floating all around her. Her dress too. It looked like one I had seen before, it was white with blue polka dots on it. I owned a similar one.She was missing one of her shoes. 

She looked so familiar, I must´ve known her, though I couldn't place her. 

The realization of what I was seeing finally set in, and I started shouting for help. No one seemed to hear me. They were all still going about, having a good time. Like everything was absolutely dandy. As if someone wasn't dying a few meters away. Did none of them realize or did they just not care. 

I was fully prepared to dive in the pool, despite never being a strong swimmer. It was the liquor courage, I suppose. I couldn't move from my spot at the edge of the pool though, as though I´d been anchored in place. 

I was going to have to watch someone die. A slow and painful death at that. 

It hit me suddenly, how I knew the girl in the deep end. And why exactly she looked so familiar. 

It was me.

I was going have to watch myself die

For the briefest moment time stood still, I wasn't quite sure how to react. A punch to the gut that had yet to hit if you will. 

And then it did. 

Cold and harsh in every way imaginable. That's the only way to describe that realization. Watching yourself die when help is just out of reach, quite the cruel twist of fate there, huh.

My throat was raw from screaming, before I even realized I was. My cheeks wet from choked out sobs.

The sound that came from my throat next was like nothing I'd heard before or since. You couldn't call it a sob or even a scream, it just was. It was guttural and pained. 

One last desperate call for help that would go unheard. 

I didn't want to die, but for all my pleading, sobbing and shouting, I was still going to. 

That feeling of hopeless crashed into me, it was heavy. I was drowning now, both literally and figuratively. Wonder if that was the point. Make me feel just as helpless in one scenario as the other. 

I had done so much wrong up til that point, bridges burned and opportunities squandered. And I was going out exactly how I lived, shit-faced and recklessly. 

It was getting heavier and heavier.

I didn't want that. I didn't want to die. 

My body ached, riddled with exhaustion.

I did not want to die. 

And I didn´t. 

Obviously, given that I'm sharing this experience with you I didn´t. It was a surprise for me at the time, alright? Alright. 

The hospital room where I woke up smelled like lemons and disinfectant. Awful combination, truly despise the scent. I believe Hellesdon Hospital was the name.

My mum was there, she had gotten a call before I even arrived. It was nice seeing her, though she did go on a long tangent about being responsible and not drinking as much. I rolled my eyes, but I'm grateful. She was there when I needed her when I was getting clean, and she stayed even when I fell off. Don´t know what I´d do without her.

The doctors wanted to keep me for a few days, run some tests and the like. Aside from a few bruised ribs and my blood alcohol levels being high enough to raise a couple eyebrows, I was fine. Like perfectly fine. 

Which was strange, because I´d been under for five minutes. And without oxygen for that long one would expect some sort of brain or organ damage. Apparently when whoever was performing CPR, I didn't cough up any water. Which is literally impossible. 

That got me an extended hospital stay, which wasn´t all that bad. All things considered. 

Whole thing really motivated me to clean up my act. Like I said, been sober for a good number of years. I've graduated and got a decent job that I like. Things are good. I want them to stay that way. 

I made myself a promise the night it happened, in the hospital. When the lights were out and it was quiet, except for my mum´s soft snores across the room. I got lucky and survived. I would be better than before, I would do better than before and I would never end up in a situation like that again. 

And so far, I haven´t. 

Statement ends. 

Sasha was able to confirm that one, Rebecca Warr was admitted into Hellesdon Hospital on May 17th, 2005 for a few bruised ribs, possible water in the lungs and suspected brain or organ damage. Sasha was also able to track down Ms. Warr in Surrey, though she declined a follow up interview, she did say that she was doing well and currently works at a rehabilitation center. 

As for her experience, I´m not quite sure of it. There are a few plausible explanations that can be dashed by Ms. Warr´s testimony alone. I at first thought there was a possibility of hallucinogen that might have been taken by Ms. Warr unknowingly, given her level of intoxicity that night. Though none were found in her system. 

The most likely occurrence from my perspective is that this was aversion of one's life flashing before their eyes during a near death experience. Though the lack of any actual injuries, internal or external is odd. Ms. Warr was right though, she's quite fortunate.

All things considered, her experience is very odd indeed.

End recording. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, kuedos and comments are appreciated!


End file.
